Dear Diary
by TheDarkMarkIsOnYourLeftArm
Summary: Have you ever wondered what would happen if you took a look inside the bafflingly brilliant mind of Hermione Granger? Just to discover that...well deep down she can be just like any other girl! The best way to really get to know someone is if you look deep into their mind, or you could just read their diary-which is sitting here just waiting to be opened up and read, I dare you...


**Chapter 1**

Dear Diary,

Well, this is all very odd, I've never had a diary before and to be honest I'm not actually sure what to write in it. You know I don't think I even like this whole 'Dear Diary' thing…It just makes me sound like a very cliché and pathetic schoolgirl. So I'm going to start again in a better way.

Hello there Diary! How you doin?

I wonder if you got my very unsubtle Friends quote there? Actually you probably didn't seeing as you are just a load of paper stuck together with no brain. Unless Ginny has somehow charmed you to grow a brain, but after the Tom Riddle thing I can't really see that happening. You probably don't even care about anything I say in here. Hold on, you're a book. You can't even breathe so I think the chances of you reading any of this are extremely low and therefore I am going to say exactly what I think in here :D

So today was dull…I think it was anyway, I wasn't really paying attention to be honest. Oh Lavender really pissed me off in potions when she managed to get partnered with Ron and spent the whole time sitting as close to him as possible and flicking her hair all over the place. I don't even know why it bothered me so much, because I don't care if Ron wants to go out with her and end up constantly glued at the lips. I'm not even lying (not that I would anyway, no chance of anyone ever reading this) and it kind of disgusts me how anyone can see Ron in a romantic or 'sexual' way. I mean like, he's _Ron_. He's funny and lovely and amazing and I love him to pieces, but just the thought of him kissing anyone, even Lavender? Please just no. I could really do without thinking about one of my best friends in that way. Eugh Harry and Ginny though…I mean seriously?! Do they have to spend every waking moment either curled up in each others laps, kissing and whatnot, or disappearing off suspiciously and coming back looking _slightly too happy?_ God, they could not be any less subtle. It's also kind of depressing how both Harry and Ron are getting attention from girls and yet apart from Victor, I don't think anyone's ever looked at me twice! I don't know, but sometimes I do wonder if there's something wrong with me, and maybe I've managed to end up with a 'repel boys' gene. Trust me to have something like that.

So enough about me, how was your day?

Oh hold on, you still haven't managed to grow a brain and learn how to read and write and stuff. Well that's a shame; I really need someone to talk to sometimes. Like with the whole Victor Krum thing! I mean I was so flattered when he asked me to the dance, and I don't think I've ever stressed as much about my hair and makeup as I did that day, and then when we went for a walk outside I really thought he was going to kiss me…but no, he just told me that 'any type of physical intimacy is a really big deal' and that he didn't want to rush it… so yeah, despite all the speculations that I'd had sex with him and whatever…I am now going to admit, that I, Hermione Granger, am 17 years old and I have never kissed a boy. Or a girl for that matter, but I 'don't swing that way' so that bit doesn't matter. I think that's why I haven't tried to correct any of the rumours, because then I'd have to admit the sad, sad truth of my apparent complete frigidness and complete disregard by the opposite sex – not something I'm going to go about shouting.

"I'm a virginnnnn! I've never touched a boy's 'manly parts'! I've never even kissed oneeeee!"

Oh I'd love to see their reactions if I did that though…But I really don't think it would be worth destroying the little 'reputation' that I have managed to build over the last 6 and a bit years…

So actually, apart from the whole Lavender thing today was pretty good I guess. And we only got one piece of homework! I know that everyone thinks I'm a complete nerd who loves it when we get homework and stuff like that but I'm just going to tell you (even though I've already established multiple times that you aren't even listening) that that really isn't me. I mean yeah, I guess I'm clever and get good grades and stuff, but I really do have to work hard for those! And the only reason I spend ages dong homework and never leave it to the last minute is because I get really stressed when I haven't done it, or haven't done it well. So if I do it really well the moment I get it then I done stress out and I have time to relax and read, which is always nice.

Do you think that if you're a book and you open another book and start reading it, it would count as rape?

Hold on you're still not replying…either you're just being extraordinarily rude (in which case I'd rather you didn't reply!) or maybe you actually don't have a brain and therefore that would explain why you have ignored my constant rudeness towards you (which I'm going to point out – in case you have some whole 'reverse psychology' thing or whatever going on – were only to try and see if you could reply or not).

Anyway, so this whole book rape thing. Well I don't actually know if Wizarding law is the same **(Note to Hermione – Find out Wizarding law on legal ages etc…)** but for muggles I reckon that you'd end up in jail for 'inappropriate looking' or however else they'd classify it. Except that it is just a book…in which case they'd probably just laugh at you and then tell you to go back to your mental home (which is just plain rude towards those who unfortunately do have mental illnesses!)

Oh I think it's time for dinner (which is amazing because my stomach is rumbling so loudly I'm surprised that they centaurs in the forest can't hear it!) so I will return later…or tomorrow…or whenever I have a chance to be honest!

Goodbye for now Diary…


End file.
